Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Richard Castle is REAL

This week, while searching for new books to read, I stumbled upon this gem:


I'm sure that it's pretty terrible. It's authorized fan fiction, after all. BUT I am happy to hear that the rumor about what happens on page 105 is totally true, so...

Monday, January 14, 2013

Complaining: I like it.

I LOVE complaining. Just for the sake of it. I'm a recreational complainer!

I think most people don't know this about me, because I don't reveal it to them unless I feel really really comfortable with them. I usually worry they'd think I'm one of those angry negative people or something. Which... well. I guess some people might think I'm one of them, because I totally have depression, and I totally love feminism. Rants sometimes happen when you are a depressed feminist. But I save those for my husband, and rants, for me, serve a very different purpose than complaining. I rant to relieve frustration, and I complain to entertain myself. When I complain about something, it's usually because I either find it interesting, or because I find it mildly annoying. Here's some of the stuff I complained about last week:


  • A well-intended but totally weird lady in Relief Society told us that the only media we should partake in was "wholesome" stuff like BYU Radio, instead of Trashy Reality Television, Because It Doesn't Teach Us Anything Worthwhile... What? WHAAAAAAAT? Do people do that? Listen to radio? BYU-kind? And you know what, lady? I learn PLENTY from my trashy tv, okay? Like plastic surgery is a bad idea sometimes, some people are cray-cray, and good parenting skills is very important. So THERE. Also, she said "mediums" instead of "media," which is awful.
  • While we're on the subject, prescriptive grammarians kinda suck. But I'm not one, even though my mom totally thinks I am! Ruuuuuuuuuuuuude. (jk I love you) I don't correct people. I just know a couple (read: actually a lot of) grammar rules and notice when peeps violate them, so there. (Honestly, I'm most annoyed by people who hypercorrect, rather than people who just don't know what they're doing, or who know what they're doing but really don't care.) Also: GRAMMAR IS THE MOST BORING PART OF LINGUISTICS. 
  • Disney is totally racist. I'm not talking about the obvious stuff. I'm talkin' linguistics! Let's consider The Lion King.
    • Simba's voice actor is white, and he speaks Standard American English. 
    • All the other main good guy lions speak Standard American English, but they are voiced by black actors (except, strangely, for adult Nala).
    • Scar speaks a high-class British dialect (RP, probably?), and has darker fur than everyone else. (Weird...) It is TOTALLY impractical for him to develop his own dialect/accent, when everyone else in the pride is apparently American. Yeah, the film makers probably did it because we like smart, British bad guys, but come on. One lion has his very own dialect? For realsies?
    • The dumb bad guys have ethnic dialects: Hispanic and lower-class Black English. I couldn't assign a dialect to Ed if I tried, because he doesn't really talk. Is he supposed to be mentally disabled? I'm not sure. 
    • The superstitious African shaman monkey, Rafiki... I had to look him up, but apparently it's a Swahili accent. (And his name means "friend" in Swahili, cute!)
    • The dumb good guys: Timon is a Jew with a Brooklyn accent and... I have no idea on Pumbaa.
    • Zazu, of course, has a high-class British dialect, because he's stuffy, works with the king, etc. Btw, do you know who did the voice acting for him? THIS GUY.
    • Did I forget anyone?
    • (You know I totally love Disney with all my heart, right? My major just ruined my ability to watch movies like a normal person.)
  • Our house doesn't have any heating, but we have a heater that keeps us from dying. But I like to sleep with about twelve blankets at night anyway because it's so cozy falling asleep surrounded by fluffy softness. But in the middle of the night, I feel like I'm going to DIE of HEAT AND SUFFOCATION AND LEG-TANGLINESS so I have to throw all the blankets except for one onto the floor, and it's not as fun or exciting anymore.
Are you a recreational complainer, or am I just a weird person?