Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The face of depression

I'm a private person. I don't really share things with other people; not because I dislike or distrust others. I just keep to myself. I guess that's part of being an introvert. So I write this post not to ask for sympathy, or to showcase myself in some strange way, but to reach out to those out there who understand my situation.

I have depression.

Yep, depression. That thing where you feel sad for no apparent reason, or lose interest in things that you used to enjoy, or generally prefer staying home and sleeping than facing the world. It saps you of energy, hounds you with constant negative thoughts and feelings, makes you hyper-critical of yourself, and makes you feel guilty for losing control of your emotions and not being happy and normal like other people.

It sounds lame, doesn't it? That's because it is lame. However, I do feel optimistic about the whole thing. I have an excellent support system, a counselor to help me understand what's going on, and the gospel to anchor me when things get stormy. Although I've had many, many days lately where I'd rather stay in bed than, say, go to school or church or do anything mildly productive, I do have hope that this is something I can work with, and understand better. I certainly don't expect it to just "go away," but I do think that I can still have a semi-normal life while depressed.

If you happen to have depression and understand what it's like, know that you're not alone, and others out there are suffering too.

3 comments:

riss said...

Oh man, I feel ya. I don't have experience with chronic depression, but I've had my own share of exciting depressive episodes. It sucks, I know. But you're right, knowing you're not alone can be a real strength.
Also, I love you, Dria! And I miss you and I want to play. Jordan, can I borrow Dria from you for a little bit one of these days? kthnxbye.

Dria said...

I love you too, Rissa! I agree on the playing idea. Let's do it soonsies!

Melissa said...

Hey, thanks for posting this. Sometimes I get those "down in the dump days" and it's hard to know how to handle it all, especially when those days come all in a row. I love you! And if you ever want someone to talk to, I would love to hear from you :)